If what I owe cannot be measured in gold or other material substance, then I must humbly ask for forgiveness for my indiscretions and go my way. If I owe something material, I pay it back, with interest if necessary. If I harmed someone, and then in the course of working the steps reach a point to make an amend, it is my duty to sit down with the person and explain fully about substance abuse, my own personal program, what my fears were, and how I have changed as a human being. It is a clear and purposeful act designed to clear up a problem from the past. “What is an amend? The technical answer is an amend is a change. And I keep on working it by staying sober, that is also a form of an amend.” Carol An Amend, Not an Apology Wrong! Facing the fact that omissions can be painful made this a powerfully healing step to do. “During my drinking ‘career’ I lived far away from my family therefore, no amends were required. Here are some of stories from others, willing to share their experiences with Step 9: Facing the Truth Don’t procrastinate to make an apology or pay a debt you owe from the past become a bigger problem in the future that could cause you to pick drink or use again. You have dealt with it properly, you’ve kept your side of the street clean, and you’ve put the mistake from the past behind you.
On the other hand, if you deal with the situation from the past, then there is no way for it to come back and bite you later. If you know that you caused harm to others during your using days or you borrowed money and never paid it back, and you don’t try to set the situation right, then there is a very good chance the issue will arise again and when it does, it could be a trigger for a relapse. If your goal is to remain clean and sober, then it’s important to take this step to make amends when possible, because if you fail to do so, it could come back to cause you problems later.
What Does Making Amends Have to Do With Staying Clean or Sober? The benefit of making amends to the recovering person does not outweigh the need to do no more harm. If the act of making amends will open old wounds or create new harm, then making direct amends should be avoided. This step does carry a condition - except when to do so would injure them or others. Regardless, spiritual progress for those in recovery depends upon doing their part right and making direct amends. Sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget. By making direct amends to the person harmed the temptation to skirt the issue because of embarrassment or pain is avoided.īut those making the amends find many times that the person to whom they have harmed is more than willing to accept those amends happily - and a healing process begins not only in the relationship but in each individual.
The spiritual principle involved is that of forgiveness, not only from others but forgiveness of self, which can bring healing to both parties.Īfter completing Step 8 - made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all - the next logical step is to make those amends if possible, and the suggestion is to do so directly to those who have been harmed. Step 9 is another one of the 12 steps, that initially appears most difficult, but the rewards of putting this principle into practice can be immense. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery it can be good medicine for the spirit and the soul.